I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
