Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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