Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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