You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
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