Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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