My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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