If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
