I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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