he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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