she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
zippers are such a cool invention
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
