And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
