D3 body, D1 cock
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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