I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You are the jesus of drinking
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
