hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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