Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
