sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
okay pat passed out under dana's car
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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