The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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