It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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