He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Michael Bay diarrhea
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
