The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Found your dick twin last night
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Is Oprah even human
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
