Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
