please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
