I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
