one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
