My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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