Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
