Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
