ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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