your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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