i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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