dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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