You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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