I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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