This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
