Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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