hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
