I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
