I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
