the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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