to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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