they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
