i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
