Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
