2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
