as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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