This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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