Small penises have feelings too.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
