Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
