Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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