Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
