Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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