Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
