Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
