Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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